When is “good enough,” good enough?
Sometimes you need to reset expectations
I’ve always struggled aligning my expectations with reality. As a self-identified perfectionist there are oftentimes where I want more or to be better at something, when neither one of those may be worth the time or energy I invest in them.
It’s always been difficult for me to make that determination though. Am I just being lazy and not wanting to reach for the lofty expectations I placed in front of me? Or is this indicative of a need to reset?
I’m in a constant battle to become the best possible version of myself. With that mindset it can be a challenge to identify goals that might just simply be out of reach and require an adjustment.
While going through this struggle I’ve realized that your expectations shouldn’t feel like a burden. When accomplishing tasks along the way you should get a certain amount of fulfillment or desire to take the steps necessary to reach your goals.
The original expectations I put on myself were something I had to reach. Internally feeling like I didn’t have a choice, otherwise I’d consider myself a failure.
There were oftentimes that I felt like I had to live up a standard that I set for myself, when really feeling like I wanted to do something different, or be someone different. That standard became a set of rules though, and to follow that feeling meant breaking a rule.
Yes the goals you have should challenge you, and it is normal to question if they are what you want. However for me I was starting to dread the day-to-day pursuit of my goals.
Feeling as though they were an impossible mountain to climb, and if/when I reached the top, I wasn’t even sure the view would be worth the arduous path.
Through some introspection of my own I started to question why I was chasing these goals. What would happen to my life plan if I wasn’t able to achieve all of them?
I found the answer to be rather simple: not much
In fact, instead of the relentless pursuit of unrealistic expectations, I actually became happier letting go of those plans.
After reprioritizing my goals and expectations I felt a huge release of pressure. Those dreams and plans I had developed as a young adult had become a burden, and to let go of them became one of the healthiest things I could do for myself.
At first it became uncomfortable to let go of something that had guided me for so long. I was concerned that maybe I was settling for just “good enough.”
But maybe good enough is good enough.
Instead of having dreams and plans guide me, I developed a set of values and try to live those each day. The pressure of unrealistic expectations has been replaced with the comfort of showing up for myself each day and being alright with the consequences of that.
Through doing this I’ve regained control of my life. No longer is my happiness contingent on getting a specific job or having a certain relationship work out. Instead I find contentment in surrounding myself with relationships and work that advance the pursuit of my values.
Living a life based on values and not plans has made me more flexible to the trials that life brings to you. Instead of getting down on myself because things aren’t going “according to plan,” I am instead more resilient knowing that my values will guide me through life’s tough times.
From time to time I think about my approach to life before. How I’d view my life now as “settling” on all of the big plans I had for myself. Thinking I should have been further along in my career or to have made more connections.
However as I continue to think I realize how much more excited I am to start each day. How I go to bed each night content with the progress I’ve made in life as opposed to the constant anxiety of wanting to be further along.
Isn’t that good enough?
